


I think I swallowed a firefly

by Unemployedfingers



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Claustrophobia, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Tsukishima was 8 years old, Tsukishima-centric, akiteru is a good brother, and my report too, fear of the dark, my other works are judging me, this was supposed to a one-shot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:35:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23639182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unemployedfingers/pseuds/Unemployedfingers
Summary: He never stays out late without someone being there with him.He hardly gets up to have water in the middle of the night no matter how thirsty he is.Sleepovers with Yamaguchi are sometimes a relief to his mental state as he is aware that there is a company with him then.He usually walks faster when Yamaguchi and he part way after school.He often finds himself treading along the thin line of light whenever the sun sets, never taking a step onto shadows.The sleep lamp by his bedside is always on at night.
Comments: 7
Kudos: 60





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is purely a procrastination fic. I wish I could submit this as my report but sadly, no. So here you are! A Tsukishima-centric fic with a bunch of light angst that no one asked for.

Tsukishima is not fond of the dark and he does everything in his ability to reduce the chance that he is either alone at night or the molasses-thick darkness gets to him.

He never stays out late without someone being there with him.

He hardly gets up to have water in the middle of the night no matter how thirsty he is.

Sleepovers with Yamaguchi are sometimes a relief to his mental state as he is aware that there is a company with him then.

He usually walks faster when Yamaguchi and he part way after school.

He often finds himself treading along the thin line of light whenever the sun sets, never taking a step onto shadows.

The sleep lamp by his bedside is always on at night.

There is no way to get rid of the bone-deep suffocating chill whenever he takes a glimpse at shadows or dark corners.

Although it is a completely irrational thing, Tsukishima just can’t help being affected by his short-coming. He wished to forget what caused all this nuisance but the wish never came true. 


	2. One summer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened

It was summer noon when he was still a kid. 

Tsukishima was stuck in his home as his brother went to cramp school and his mother went to work. The occurrence wasn’t uncommon, Tsukishima had had his fair share of staying at home with his brother during summer because he was too young for any extracurricular activities besides primary school and his mom being a single mother of two sons was busy working. 

Nonetheless, she was both a successful woman, she made enough to never have to deny her children anything regardless of the price, and a good mom. The value of money and hard work was drilled into her sons' minds at a young age, never letting them have anything that they didn’t earn. She also made sure both Akiteru and Tsukishima knew all the safety household rules, emergency numbers, passwords/safewords, her and their relatives' numbers, and last but not least, the danger of strangers, fire, electronic devices, and chemicals.

By the age of eight, Tsukishima was confident to look after himself and the house for 12 hours alone without accidents. Techniquecally, heating food with a microwave, not making a mess and staying at home could only be that hard. Although he sometimes wanted some real companies instead of books and toys, that didn’t mean Tsukishima was willing to share his space with people other than his mom and brother.

Somehow, this aunt, Karen, had come up with a stupid idea of letting her twin sons “get along with Tsukishima more” by shoving them into his house and let them loose. She called his mom to announce that she would visit the next day in a false pretense of arranging a date despite the protest of his mom stating clearly that there wouldn’t be an adult or Akiteru to supervise the kids until at least 7 in the evening.

Karen laughed it off and said that her sons were good boys and she would be with them the whole time to babysit Tsukishima. His mom was reluctant, mostly due to Karen’s sons. They had the tendency to be stupid, playing at where they were not supposed to and with stuffs that were not theirs to touch. However, she didn’t want to leave Kei unsupervised so she agreed much to the resistance of Tsukishima.

Karen came by the next day, bringing two demons, Joion and Sunao. She saw Tsukishima’s mom off, saying that she would take good care of the children, but left after 30 minutes to go to her “important spa appointment.” All hell broke loose shortly after that.

The twin took exactly three minutes to make sure that their mom had gone for sure before they broke into screams and howlings. Tsukishima tried his best to lessen the damage of their awakening but there were still broken photo frames, cracked cups, torn calendars, and shredded armchair pillows, all of which Tsukishima was sure Karen would not compensate for. 

By noon, the living room was a mess. The twin finally caught a break after bending Tsukshima’s glasses, which he didn’t even care about because he had run out of his lifetime energy to keep them from damaging anything else. The hardest part was to prevent them from entering Akiteru’s room. 

They had pretty much barged into Tsukishima’s one and destroyed his summer homework, making fun of him for having done everything already. They called him bookworm and four-eye as they rummaged through his bookshelf and found books that were too difficult to read despite being older than Tsukishima by one year. He tried not to be upset when they tore off pages from his favorite notebook to make paper planes only to litter the garden with them and exclaimed that they were bored. 

The twins then turned to Akiteru’s room direction, clearly thinking of his extensive figurines and cool comics. The thing was that Tsukishima had had a bad feeling since Karen had called. Therefore, he asked his brother to take care of his collection of the most precious books, including the encyclopedia series, and figurines along with Akiteru-nii’s own the day before. 

It’s not like Akiteru-nii didn’t share his toys with Tsukishima, he often enthusiastically did so, but Tsukishima also wanted an individual collection of his own. He was more interested in winged reptiles than land ones anyway. Letting the twins into that room would result in catastrophic, no amount of Karen’s non-existent compensation money would be able to replace some parts of the collection.

He managed to distract the twins with lunch, curry rice and fried pork chops, but he didn’t know how long it would last. His mom had made a lot in case someone wanted more but the twins were practically inhaling a potful of curry at an alarming rate. Tsukishima’s own share was lost in the twins’ bowl. He looked at them in disgust as more curry was dribbled onto the dining table. Sacrificing his lunch was so not worth it.

Unfortunately, the twins only rested for half an hour after eating and then they were rejuvenated. This time, it was so much worse because they were dead set on Akiteru’s room. He used all his resources to distract them.

Luring them with ice cream? They ate like pigs, didn’t bother to wipe their mouths but still didn’t let the room go.

Suggesting movies? They broke his Godzilla DVD because Joion kept fast-forwarding and Sunao kept rewinding. The DVD player had frozen up after the fifteenth time they did that.

Offering to make origami for them? They were fascinated for a while but soon fought each other over the last red paper sword, having torn all the previous ones due to their ruthlessness. Tsukishima was dragged into the fight when he tried to break them up, which bruised him badly in the face and his ribs since both boys were much bigger than him.

They came to a halt as they somehow found the emergency key chain under the vase in the corner of the hallway. Tsukishima told them the room was locked and the keys for the door were not in there but they didn't buy it, saying that they had all the time to test each key. 

They looked bent on taking the door of Akiteru’s room down, which Tsukishima couldn’t let happen because all of Akiteru-nii’s and his treasures were in there. He had to protect them at all costs. With no choice, Tsukishima resorted to threatening by calling Karen, he actually didn’t know her numbers but they believed him anyway. The twins lunged for his phone even before he could press the first digit. They mashed it into the ground, Sunao brought a dirty hand to cover his mouth.

“Kei! Don’t call mom! If you do that, we won’t be able to play anymore!” He hissed.

“Yeah! Mom here is no fun at all! Don’t call her! Play with us, Kei! Akiteru’s room had so much fun stuff the last time we came!” Joion chirped in.

“Yeah! Let us play with them! Don’t be selfish, Kei!” Sunao scolded.

There was no way Tsukishima let them do that. “No! That is Akiteru-nii’s room! He locked it because he doesn’t want anyone to come in. Not even I am allowed to be in when he’s gone!” He lied for a good cause.

“What? He doesn’t let you play with him?” Sunao and Joion looked between each other for a sec as they did their twins' telepathic thing.

“Yeah... he doesn’t.” Tsukishima lied again for a good measure.

They both broke into mischievous smiles and said, “well, that’s a bummer. Poor Kei, doesn’t have anything to play with!”

“How about we play a game together?” They asked.

“What do you mean?” Tsukishima was puzzled. 

“Come on! Let’s play, Kei! How about hide and seek?” They smiled. “We could take it to the backyard with the warehouse!”

Tsukishima was not supposed to play near or in the warehouse. His mom warned him that there was dangerous and heavy stuff in there and he might get hurt if he touched something wrong. However, he was desperate for Sunao and Joion to stay away from his brother’s room, they had already done too much damage to the rest of the house already. Reluctantly, he agreed. 

“But we must not play in the warehouse! Mom said it’s dangerous!” He warned.

“Sure, sure!” They looked like they didn’t hear him at all and pushed him at his back to the direction of the backyard. He didn’t get a chance to retrieve his cell phone.

~

“Whoever loses rock-paper-scissors will be ‘it’, okay?” Tsukishima nodded. He was reluctant to play but it’s not like his opinion mattered in this situation.

One! Two! Three!

“Bhaha! Joion is ‘it’! Run, Kei!” Sunao broke out laughing and ran off, jerking Tsukishima by the arm with him.

They played a few rounds, all of them taking turns being ‘it’. Although Tsukishima only lost because the twin somehow always made him run with one of them and couldn’t keep still as they hid, he was enjoying the game a bit. Too caught up playing, the rules of staying away from the warehouse were briefly forgotten when Sunao pulled him into the place. 

The older was excited to explore around. He told Tsukishima to keep an ear out for Joion while he looked over the place. Tsukishima was uneasy being there but since Sunao hadn’t done anything dumb, he deemed it was okay to hide for only a bit. Therefore, he mostly kept to himself, occasionally speaking up to chide Sunao for being too careless. 

Joion caught them once again when Sunao was busy checking some old chest. Strangely, instead of yelling at Joion for making him lose, Sunao ran to him excitedly and whispered something in his brother’s ear, apparently wanting to keep Tsukishima from hearing. He didn’t mind at all. Joion’s eyes kinda lit up at whatever they were talking about.

“Come on, Joion! Kei is smart and he surely can win the two of us if he is by himself!” Sunao suddenly exclaimed.

“No way! He can never win against me!” Joion mocked. Tsukishima felt a hint of competitiveness in his heart.

“I’m sure he can! Why don’t we let him try? You are not scared, aren’t you?” Sunao edged him on.

“Who is scared, hah? Fine! He can hide alone and we’ll be it!” Joion taunted. “I bet he is bad at hiding because he never wins.”

Then, Sunao let go of him and ran to Tsukishima, face grinning and came too close for Tsukishima’s comfort to whisper in his ear this time. 

“Kei, I manage to persuade Joion to be ‘it’ again. I will be ‘it’, too. You can hide alone and win this time! You are smart enough to do it! I discovered that the chest over there is empty! You must hide in it and I will pretend to not notice! We will make Joion lose for sure this time! Okay? You want to win both of us, right?” He smiled broadly. 

Tsukishima found their attitude suspicious but he did want to pay back Joion for always making fun of him for losing. Actually, Sunao might have a brain cell, after all, to come up with a good plan. Besides, Tsukishima was too hungry and tired to run around and find somewhere better to hide.

He nodded and came with them to the starting point, waiting for them to settle and count again. As soon as they covered their eyes, Tsukishima sneaked quietly away and into the warehouse. He inspected the inside of the chest for a few seconds, contemplating if getting himself all dusty was worth it but soon spooked by the raised voice of the twins, signaling his last 15 seconds to hide.

He clicked his tongue then decided to do it anyway. The chest was big enough to contain his small frame. Tsukishima pulled his shirt up to cover his nose from the mold smell and quietly closed the lid just as the twins counted to zero. For a moment, he could hear the twins running around and calling for him. He stifled his giggle at Sunao’s posey exclaim of frustration when he was obviously walking around the chest he was hiding in.

Suddenly, a loud thud from above him shocked Tsukishima out of his silent laugh. Something was off.

Right away, Joion laughed from outside. “Ha ha ha! Kei, you are in there, right?”

“I’m sure Kei is inside!” Sunao said.”I told him to be there!”

Tsukishima didn’t understand. Wasn’t Sunao supposed to be on his side? Why did he expose him?

He pushed on the lid to see the boys, wanting to know what was happening. Except for the fact that he couldn’t seem to open it now. It was stuck. The older boys definitely had something to do with this.

“Sunao, Joion, I can’t get out. What is happening?” Tsukishima questioned.

“Of course you can’t get out Kei! We locked the chest!” Sunao broke out laughing again. “Didn’t you know there is a tower bolt outside of it?” 

“What are you doing? This is not funny.” Tsukishima called out. “Get me out of here now.”

“In your dream! Haha!” Joion mocked.

“Yup, no way, Kei! You are the one who is not funny” Sunao said. “You have been trying to stop us from having fun! You didn’t let us play, you nagged at us just like mom, always saying that we will break this and break that. What does it matter anyway? It’s not like we break  _ our  _ stuff. We only want to have fun!”

“Yeah,” Joion agreed. “It’s not fair you have all the house to yourself, and all those cool toys and don’t share them with us! We want to play in Akiteru’s room but you didn’t let us! We know all your toys are in there, too!”

“What are you talking about? If you weren’t being so reckless and didn’t try to wreck the house, I wouldn’t have stopped you! I had to clean up after you all this time!” Tsukishima reprimanded. “And you broke half of my figurines and stole Akiteru-nii’s Jurrasic card collection last time I let you play with them-”

“Boo!” Joion cut in. “Stingy Kei! Nagging Kei! We didn’t break anything! Those toys broke on their own! And we didn’t steal! It was ours and we happened to have the same cards as yours!”

“You two didn’t know how to spell Jurrasic!” Kei shouted, exasperatedly.

“Doesn’t matter! Because of you, mom shouted at us a lot that time! You are no fun and stingy! We think it’s high time you were taught a lesson!”

“W-What do you mean?” Tsukishima spluttered.

“We think you should have some “time out” to think about your stinginess and ‘no-funness’. So we decide to lock you here for a bit and go play in Akiteru’s room~”

“You can’t leave me here!” Tsukishima blanched.

“Yes, we can~” They singsonged. 

“Bye, Kei! I hope you will be less stingy after your lesson! We will come back when we think you are nice enough, okay?” Sunao’s voice faded away.

“Hey! Come back here! Open the chest!” Tsukishima screamed after them, his fists banging on the lid frantically. The lid rattled but didn’t even open a crack.

He panicked at hearing the door clicked and all sounds faded away. They couldn’t do this to him! 

Tsukishima pounded on the walls of the chest until he was exhausted, demanding the twins to let him out but no one answered him.

There were beads of sweat on his forehead, his whole body was damp all over. The heat of summer was seeping through layers of the warehouse and boiling everything up. Tsukishima couldn't believe he missed how hot it was here when he was playing. The vast chest suddenly turned narrow, preventing Tsukishima from moving his lanky limbs. His restless legs instinctively tried to kick out for a stretch but soon hit the walls restricting him. 

Tsukishima felt tears in his eyes but he told himself to be brave and keep trying. Recalling the action movies where a character was kidnapped, Tsukishima experimentally kicked the wall. Unfortunately, it was too thick. Putting in more force only hurt his ankles, the walls remained still. He punched the walls, the lid, anywhere he could reach but nothing moved. His arms and legs hurt so bad.

Tsukishima’s eyes teared up as eternity passed and still no one came to let him out. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t see anything. There was no way to call for help as he clearly remembered leaving the phone on the second floor. He cried for real at the thought of his mom and brother. None of this would have happened if they had been here. He wouldn’t have been hungry, thirsty, exhausted and confined inside a chest if they had been with him. 

His neck was uncomfortably wet because of all the tears he cried but Tsukishima couldn’t bring himself to care. Sunao and Joion were destroying Akiteru and his treasure, he was stuck in a chest alone for god knew how long. His mom and brother were away and had no idea of how he was doing. He couldn’t move without banging his limbs somewhere. There was only darkness.

Inside the chest, Tsukishima heard nothing except for his labor breathing and his thumping heart. The sounds got louder and louder until they were deafening.

Both thirst and hunger started to make themself clear inside him.

He felt like the air was getting thicker and thicker in here. 

It was hard to breathe. 

The suffocating dark was turning unbearable.

He shook at the thought of never being let out. 


	3. One night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened next in that summer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Akiteru was about 12-13 and he was angry and sad.

Akiteru hummed a song absentmindedly on his way home. Recently, his mom had made him go to remedial classes because his grades had been slipping. Although he was reluctant to take extra classes, he acknowledged that his mom only wanted him to focus more on studying. She wouldn’t take laziness easily.  
Akiteru was feeling both guilty for having been so distracted at such an important time and a bit sheepish for leaving Kei at home alone. He knew Kei had someone to look after him but he had made a promise to play with him during summer and to help him with his homework, none of those things was fulfilled. Kei had actually sulked when he was told that his brother wouldn’t be home with him. What even sadder was that Kei had been ignoring his texts for days!  
Shaking a box of cake in his hand, Akiteru hoped that his peace offering would be sufficient to remedy the situation.   
As Akiteru’s house became clear, he quickened his steps, not wanting to let Kei alone for any longer. A warm feeling flushed his chest at seeing the light in his room lit. Kei must have been playing there again. Akiteru had never been able to catch him at it because Kei was too embarrassed to admit that he missed his brother a lot and wanted to play with him more. He was like a cat, who waited for the owner by the door only to flee at the first sight of them.  
Wanting to surprise Tsukishima, Akiteru rounded to his back gate and quietly made his way inside. He passed by the kitchen to drop the box of cake in the fridge, then tip-toed into the second floor. The door of his room was closed but some noises from inside could be heard. It was weird for Kei to be dramatic with imaginary dinosaur fights.  
He held his breath and recoiled, ready to give his dramatic entrance.  
Bang! He jumped into the room.  
“Surprise!” He yelled.  
“Wah!” Two unfamiliar voices yelped back.  
The three of them were frozen in shock at each other’s sight. It wasn’t Kei inside his room. ‘What are the twins doing here?!’ He thought. He didn’t know Sunao and Joion would be visiting today. Did his mom ask Karen to come over to look after Kei? If so, where was their mother?  
Belatedly, Akiteru gapped at what he was seeing. The whole room was covered in trash and snacks. His display case was wide open, missing a bunch of figurines, even the expensive ones he had displayed on the top of it were knocked over. There were bits and pieces of broken ones everywhere. His year's worth of allowance dinosaur figurine, a Patagotitan, was in Joion’s hand, its neck bent in a horrible way.  
Akiteru’s eyes narrowed on what Sunao was holding. Kei’s most treasured Pteranodon figurine was twisted in his grip, one wing looked nearly torn off. Blood rushed to Akiteru’ head and he threw himself in, snatching the poor dinosaur out of the kid's hand. It was too late. The Pteranodon was too far gone for fixing. He couldn’t imagine how Kei would react. Akiteru didn’t know how to clean up all this mess either.  
Feeling his anger surged, Akiteru was fuming just by assessing the damage of his room. He breathed in a few deep breaths to keep his cool. What the flipping pancake happened? Where is Kei? He knew his brother couldn’t have let such a thing happen easily. However, he had to get the twins out of his room first.  
“Sunao, Joion! Put my stuff down and get out of my room!” He barked.  
The twins looked a bit taken back by his anger, but they refused to let his things go. “What? Akiteru! We were having fun, we want to play!”  
Hearing their childish voice, Akiteru couldn’t believe what their little “fun” had done to his properties. He snapped. “You have done enough play! Look at my room! Get up and out before I teach you a lesson in aunt Karen's place!”  
Finally, they seemed to have realized that he was in no mood for joking around. They hesitantly stood up and started making their way out.   
“Drop the toy, Sunao.” Akiteru ordered when he noticed Sunao still had the gut to hide stuff in his hoodie. It was one of Kei’s favorites that was luckily in one piece.  
“But I want it, Akiteru!” He whined.  
Akiteru dropped a hand on the annoying child's head, putting just a bit of pressure to make his point, looked him straight in the eyes and gritted out word by word. “I don’t care. It’s Kei’s. You are not going to take it. Understood?”  
“Y-yes, Akiteru-nii!” The kid stammered, dropping Kei’s figurine into Akiteru's waiting hand and ran after his brother.  
He rounded them up in the living room and lost another several minutes to look around. The whole place looked like a pair of rascals had barged in and threw a fight. His mom was gonna have a headache for sure. Kei couldn’t have let this happen without a fight. He was a responsible kid. Where was he when all of this happened?  
“Where is Kei?” He questioned the twins.  
They fluttered in their seats, nowhere to run as Akiteru was looming directly over them. Joion muttered, “I-I don’t know. He must have gone out to play.”  
Sunao chirped in, “Y-yeah, he said he wanted more ice cream.”  
That was suspicious. Kei would never go out just to play or buy stuff without telling his mom or him first. He had enough ice cream in the fridge for more than three kids. Furthermore, there was no note on the fridge from Kei to indicate where he was going.   
He took out his phone to dial Kei only to hear a ringtone from upstairs and found Kei’s phone there but no Kei. He went back to the twins, worry rising.  
“How long have you two been here?” He asked.  
“Since morning.”  
“Since morning? Were you with your mom?” He was sure she should have been with the kids..  
“Yeah, but she left, only Kei here.”  
“And since when did your mom leave?”  
“She went for a spa appointment, and hasn't been back since morning.”  
“And she knew that only Kei was at home and still left you three by yourselves?”  
“Yeah.” They shrugged.  
“Do you know when she will be back?”  
They shrugged again, that’s a no.  
“And you don’t know where Kei is.” That’s a statement.  
They looked at each other and shook their heads in unison.  
Shit, his brother was missing. Akiteru called out for Kei loudly in case he was hiding somewhere in the house but there was no answer. He ordered the boys to stay still then went searching all the floors for a good measure. He also called everyone he could. The stores Kei was frequently asked to run errands said they hadn’t seen Kei. His school said there were no extracurricular activities today. With no clue on Kei, he called his mom in a panic, relaying the situation to her.   
She was furious at Karen. Akiteru heard his mom swore, which was rare and was assured that she would be back as fast as she could. She told him to look after the twins, much to his reluctance and she would contact the authority. He called Karen too but she never answered. Akiteru sighed quietly at her irresponsibility.  
The 45 minutes of waiting for her for the longest 45 minutes of his life. His legs bounced up and down from anticipation. Opposite him, the twins were communicating silently and fretting in their seats. They were smart enough not to talk when there was heavy air in the room.  
Much to his relief, his mom arrived and immediately questioned the twins, not caring about the stage of her living room. Expression stern, she asked pretty much like Akiteru did.  
“What did you do before Kei was gone?” That, Akiteru didn’t ask.  
“Mom d-dropped us off and left then we played with Kei in the living room. We had lunch with Kei...then, then we watched TV, played folding paper, ate ice cream. T-Then we played hide and seek-” Joion spluttered at his mom's intense interrogation.  
“And then we went to Akiteru’s room but Kei left!” Sunao suddenly cut his brother off, Joion was surprised by his shouting too. “We were playing with Kei in Akiteru’s room but Kei left and never came back!”  
Joion’s face looked puzzled for a second then he jerked. “Yeah, Kei never came back after he left!”  
“Oh no! Where could he be?” His mom worriedly muttered, walking around the room in a circle.  
For the next hour, Akiteru was told to bike and scout the neighborhood as his mom called all their acquaintances to ask about Kei again. They asked the twins what happened one more time, hoping to find a clue to Kei’s whereabouts. The twins were more jittery when answering this time and there wasn’t anything new that told them where Kei was. Karen’s phone was once again quiet. They both came out empty-handed.   
Akiteru was on the verge of panicking. His brother was missing. If it wasn’t because of his terrible grades, he would have been with Kei and this would never have happened. Distress flooded his chest, he felt like he could cry. What if Kei was kidnapped? What if he had an accident? If it wasn’t for his mom taking a look at him, telling him to sit down and whispering reassurance words into his ears, he might have cried. She combed through his hair, saying that it’s no one’s fault and if they couldn’t find Kei, the police would. She also comforted the twins, who were unusually quiet, and told them to pick something for dinner with a forced smile.  
They, more likely the twins, were having pizza for dinner when they heard the front door clicking. Both of Tsukishimas ran for it, hoping it was Kei. However, it was Karen. She was dressed in a luxury outfit, a small gift bag from a spa dangling on her hand. She looked pleased with whatever she had been doing the whole day, ignorant of the dire situation.  
As soon as Akiteru’s mom saw her, she looked downright murderous. “Karen! Where have you been?!”   
“O-Oh! Hey sis! D-didn’t know you would be home this early.” Karen had the gut to look embarrassed.  
The twins ran for his mom the instance they heard her, mouth yelling. “Mom!”  
“Hey! Don’t hug me! You will ruin my dress!” She scolded the kids. “And what troubles have you two caught? I just left for a few seconds.” Her eyes anxiously directed at Akiteru’s mom.  
“Stop lying, Karen. I know you left them here this morning! They told me everything.” Akiteru’s mom scolded her. “Now answer me why the hell did you leave three kids home alone without supervision?”  
“W-what? I didn-” She huffed. “What’s the big deal anyway? They are all good, aren’t they? I know you taught Kei-kun well enough to look after himself so why not two more?”  
“Can you hear what you are saying?!” His mom snapped. “They were kids. You left them alone unsupervised. You dumped your sons on Kei, he was fucking younger than your kids! How could he possibly take care of three people? Your sons were unruly on a good day and ‘they’ are not alright! Kei is missing!”  
“Wha-What?” She sputtered. “That doesn’t have anything with me! He was here when I left!”  
Both Akiteru and his mom would have thought the level of irresponsibility and ignorance was quite eye-opening if it weren’t for the situation.   
“Mom, let’s just find Kei first. Anything could be taken care of later.” He stopped his mom before she could blow up on the embarrassing adult.   
“God. You are right, Aki” She muttered. She took out her phone and dialed the numbers. “Karen, expect to work with the police after they find Kei.”  
“What are you doing?!” Out of nowhere, Karen seized hold of his mom, her face turned ashen from the threat. “Me? ‘With the police’? There is no need for the police! I’m sure it’s not that serious, s-sis.”  
Akiteru’s mom stood still for a moment, unable to comprehend that the person standing in front of her was actually stopping her from calling the police even though a child might be in danger. At last, she exploded.   
“What am I doing? I am trying to find my son, whom you failed to look after! For what?” She jabbed at Karen’s gift bag. “A fucking spa day? You were supposed to look after the kids! And now, even though one is missing because of you, it is not that serious?”  
At this rate, Akiteru feared that things might end up with someone dying, someone whose name started with a “K”. Even the twins looked almost in tears by the tense atmosphere. Akiteru didn’t want them to get stuck between the mothers so he quickly waved them over to the couch, which they followed without hesitation.   
“Hello, this is the police department. What is the emergency?” His mom’s phone connected, piercing the air and stopped the escalating verbal spat.  
She jerked out of Karen’s grasp and told the dispatcher the situation. An officer, Kai, quickly came over to collect information from everyone, including Karen, about what Kei looked like, what he was wearing, what he was doing before he went missing. Kai expressed disbelief when hearing Karen’s poor excuse but soon moved to the twins to confirm evidence and clues, at which they were both so nervous that their voices turned shaky.   
The officer eyed the twins a few times, he seemed to have realized something. He spoke to Karen, “Madam, since these two boys were the last and closest ones to see Tsukishima Kei. I would like to ask them a few more questions if that is possible, preferably without any of their relatives in their line of sight.”  
“What? Why? Don’t they need me to comfort them or what-so-ever?” Karen asked him perplexedly.  
“Yes, but sometimes, children can be more stressed about confessing to their close ones than to strangers. Especially when they have something that needs hiding. To be honest, I don’t think your boys have told us everything so it would be useful to talk with them in private, for Tsukishima Kei’s sake.”  
Karen protested that her children had nothing to hide but Akiteru’s mom grabbed her shoulder from behind. “Karen, why don’t you let Kai-san do his job? The sooner this ends, the less trouble for you, right?”  
Karen thought for a few seconds then gave in. She walked to her sons to let them know that they would leave for a bit, telling them to behave and answer the officer politely if he asked anything. Then they all pretended to walk outside and sneaked into the house through the backdoor, hiding from the twins. They quietly listened to the conversation between them.  
“Sunao, Joion. Thank you a lot.” Kai spoke gently. “You two are both very brave boys and helped me a lot when answering my questions. However, I noticed that you were a bit nervous so I asked your mom and auntie to leave so that we can talk more easily. They are quite scary, aren’t they?”  
“Yeah…” They agreed in unison. “Auntie isn’t usually scary like mom. She is often nice to us and gives us a lot of sweets. B-But, she isn’t nice today.”  
“Yes, Kei is missing and that can make your auntie very sad so she can be a bit upset as long as your cousin is missing. She will be happier if you can help me find Kei sooner, you know?”  
“But i-if so, auntie will be mad at us.” Joion said.  
“H-hey! Joion, what are you talking about?” Sunao screamed. Akiteru could tell his mom was trying her best to refrain from jumping out and asking what that was about.  
“Mad? Why are you afraid that auntie will be mad, Joion?” Kai coaxed him with a calming voice.  
“It was nothing!” Before Joion could say anything, Sunao jumped in.  
“Sunao, are you also afraid that your aunt will be mad at you?” The man turned to him.  
“N-no! I am not afraid of her!” He said.  
“Hm?” The man pondered for a second, then in a quiet voice so that his listeners couldn’t hear, he asked. “Is it your mom then?”  
The twins didn’t say anything for a long minute. They nudged each other back and forth, refusing to be the first to answer.  
“You know you can believe in me, right?” The police suddenly said. The twins looked at him with doubt in their eyes. “I can keep secrets very well. So whatever you tell me here, your mom and auntie won’t find out.”  
“B-but what if they do? Will you be mad at us, too?” They tentatively asked.  
“No, I won’t and I promise to protect you guys with my life.” He declared. “And how could anyone be mad at you if you help finding Kei?”  
“E-even if it was our fault?”  
“Your fault?”  
“...We didn’t mean to forget.” They said quietly.  
“Forget what, exactly?” Kai pursued.  
“...That we locked Kei in the chest in the warehouse at noon.”

Akiteru's feet carried him to the warehouse even quicker than he was aware.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol I present you a completely useless following-up chapter where Kei was not found.


	4. Still that summer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess who Tsukishima Hikari is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear to god, the flashback was supposed to be one chapter or so long. Joke on me and my tendency to excessive need for background information.  
> Please read notes at the end before going through the chapter if you want to. (Alert: There will be spoilers)

Tsukishima Hikari thought that she had experienced all ups and downs of her life. For 35 years, she had made mistakes, and learnt to fix them. From choosing the wrong man to listening to what her family told her, she had pushed her way through all the stupidity of her adolescence. She was glad that she had walked out of the abortion clinic the last minute and moved out of her ex-husband's house, taking Akiteru with her.   
Although raising a child alone and getting a Ph.D. in the same year was hard, especially when being pregnant with the second child, she had made it. She had gotten another child and a hard-earned degree eight years ago. Life looked up after Kei was born. Hikari was happy with her job, and she was absolutely proud of her sons. Two amazing children. They were the light of her life, ever-present even when it was the most difficult time.  
Hikari vowed to give them the best of everything. The money she made was sufficient to do so physically but sometimes, the nature of her job prevented her from attending the kids herself. Nonetheless, she did her best to be with them and provide them with everything they needed. She might not always be doting on them whenever they fell but she would always tend their wounds and teach them how to stand up again.  
However, Hikari was doubting herself as a mother. Despite being 35 with all the “life experience”, Hikari still fucked up so bad and it was no one’s fault but her own. Just because she trusted the wrong person, just because she was too busy to look after her own son, Kei was in the hospital now.   
Nothing could come close to the terror of the moment Hikari saw her elder son picking up his brother’s lifeless figure. She didn’t register anything between the split-seconds of seeing Kei and hugging his face. When she felt his breath, relief washed over her with such great strength that she cried. Kei was alive. Feverish and unconscious but alive. She brushed Kei’s bang away, sweeping the sweat off his forehead. The intense heat radiating from him quickly pulled her together. There was no time to panic.  
Hikari heard distant footsteps behind her. Kai-san was the first to reach them, she quickly told him to call an ambulance. As they waited for the ambulance to come, the officer assessed Kei’s condition and reported it to a dispatcher, seeking first aid measures.  
“He was locked in a closed chest, for assuming 4-6 hours, in a hot environment. He is unconscious,” Kai listened for a moment then took Kei’s hand in his, pressing a finger on his wrist, “irregular breathing, rapid pulse, high temperature, sweating.”   
He nodded to his phone, put it down, and turned to Hikari and Akiteru. “We need to take Kei-kun outside, it’s too hot in here. He needs to be in a cool area. Hikari-san, please allow me to carry Kei. Akiteru-kun, your brother needs to rehydrate. If you have any sports beverages, please bring Kei a bottle, water is also sufficient.”  
Kai quickly moved Kei out of the warehouse as Akiteru fled to do his task. Kei was laid on the sofa in the living room, positioned so that his feet were elevated on the armrest. Akiteru rushed back to them, handing Kai a bottle of ion water he kept for volleyball practices. Hikari brought a wet towel to put on Kei’s forehead and another to wipe his sweaty and dusty skin.   
“Mom, Kei’s bleeding!” Akiteru pointed out.  
Kei’s neck was covered in angry red lines as if he had scratched his neck in a blind attempt to get more air into his lungs. Hikari sobbed in horror as she found Kei’s arms and legs were bruised and bleeding in several places. Akiteru let out a broken whine when he realized Kei’s fingers were missing two nails. Kei was missing two nails.  
Catching on, Kai shifted to block the view from all the minors in the room and Akiteru was quickly told to look another way until Hikari was done cleaning Kei up. But it was too late for Akiteru as he openly cried, too scared by the painful scene. Hikari shushed him softly, assuring that Kei would be alright while her hands magically carried on the task without pause. She couldn’t imagine how terrified Kei must have been when trying desperately to escape.   
After she was done and gave Akiteru the signal, he tip-toed to his brother and carefully held his uninjured hand. Hikari put aside the medical kit and moved to hug Akiteru sideways, still keeping Kei in her line of sight. Kai occasionally checked Kei’s pulse and temperature and fed him more sport water. They paid no mind to Karen and her sons, who all were fidgeting on the far side of the room.   
Everything was quiet until Karen suddenly exploded.  
“Joion! Sunao! How could you do this to Kei?! Who did you learn to be so naughty from?!” She raised a hand, ready to strike the startled kids, Hikari alarmedly raised to stop her but Kai, who was the nearest to Karen, beat her to it and stopped the oncoming hand mid-air. The boys immediately took shelter behind his back, looking at their mother with fear in their eyes.  
“Karen-san, I understand that this is stressful and you are upset but please keep your composure, we can settle things after Kei-kun is safe if that is alright.” He calmly addressed her. His face became stern after letting her retreat her hand. “In addition, using force will make your sons more scared and I don’t think that will benefit the current situation. Don’t you agree?”  
“Y-yeah, you are right,” Karen said. “I apologize for acting out. I was only mad that the boys misbehaved. I didn’t teach them to be so.”  
“Of course, Karen-san,” Kai answered her politely and went back to Kei again. He took the kids with him to distance them from Karen but they chose their own spot, somewhere that was neither near their mom nor Kei. Nonetheless, they stealthily sneaked glances at Kei, feeling too guilty to check on him directly. On an irrelevant note, Kai thought there might be something more to the twin’s family dynamic from what he had witnessed.  
The ambulance arrived at last. Hikari and Akiteru were allowed on the transport with Kei while Karen and her children drove after them in Kai’s car. Luckily for them, the hospital was fairly quiet that night. Hikari let Akiteru stick with Kei while she filled out forms to admit Kei to the hospital. Kei’s medical insurance covered a big chunk of the hospital bill but what was left wasn’t little by any means. Hikari knew exactly who to send this bill to.   
She went to the A&E department as fast as possible after all the necessary things were done. Standing outside an emergency room was Akiteru with Kai and the rest. She immediately took Akiteru in her arms when she saw his anxious expression. Her baby had done an amazing job reacting to the situation and Hikari was determined to tell him so. Together, they waited for the doctor to come out.   
Soon, the assessment was done and the Tsukishimas were asked to enter Kei’s hospital room. A doctor briefed Hikari with Kei’s condition while Akiteru ran to Kei and held his hand, careful of the IV line connected to him. All of Kei’s injuries were treated and bandaged. They gave him a bag of saltwater and glucose to bring his condition up. Hikari was relieved to hear that Kei was not in any critical condition but some wounds and minor injuries, the latter was mostly due to his attempt to escape.  
The cause of his unconsciousness was diagnosed as a combination of heat syncope, exhaustion, dehydration, and hypoxia. He advised Hikari to let Kei in the hospital for monitoring in case of any lasting effects, at the same time expressing concern for the mental impacts the event might have on him. She was suggested to find Kei a child therapist to help him talk about the event after he recovered to ensure that the kid would be okay in the future.  
Hikari was caught off guard by that. The possibility of such a result had yet to come to her, having worried about the physical damage to her son only.  
That made her view the affairs from an entirely different perspective. She had read a few articles about child psychology, but mental health was a foreign field to her. It had been a long time since she last felt unsure confronting a problem. However, the warning had brought light to what Hikari should do; thus, she made it her mission to gain knowledge on the matter and assist her children as much as possible.  
~  
That night, there was no sign of Kei waking up. The only thing that changed was his temperature, which went dangerously high then ceased after Kei was all exhausted. The boy looked like he was having a nightmare because he kept tossing and frowning, occasionally calling out for his mom and brother and letting out mumbles of “hot”, “too dark”, and “can’t breath.” Hikari tried her best not to cry. She helped Akiteru settle beside his brother on the hospital bed and held their hands throughout the night.  
Kai had taken statements from everyone regarding the event and offered to take Kei’s on another day after he had woken up. Karen and the twins left at some point before ten o'clock, but not before Hikari had told Karen that she would be responsible for the damage they had done, including property damage and hospital fees. The news was not welcomed by Karen, but one chilling look from Hikari was enough to make her back away and flee. Hikari knew her sister would not concede that it was her fault that easily but Hikari was a force to be reckoned with and she would not be easy on anyone from now on.  
~  
At three a.m, Hikari woke up to broken sobs. She rose in alert, immediately looking over her children’s direction. The first thing she knew was that Kei was awake. The second was that Kei was crying. Kei was awake and crying. Akiteru was sleeping next to Kei but he was too drained to wake up to his brother. Hikari sat up, one hand reaching out for Kei and the other for the bedside lamp.  
Kei immediately snapped his face to the lamp, his eyes blinked several times. He stared at the light source, eyes open wide as if he was questioning its existence. He spared Hikari no attention and started crying harder.  
“Kei, honey. It’s mom. What’s the matter?” She asked in a gentle voice. “Are you hurt?”  
Finally, his gaze moved to her face. For a moment, Hikari was surprised to see no recognition in it. It took him a few moments before realization dawned on him. Kei jerked her way, breathlessly mouthing “mom.” The mother immediately hugged Kei before he could pull the IV line in his arm. She kissed his forehead, hair, and cheeks, rubbing circles on his small back as Kei sobbed heavily.   
Kei clutched her form with a surprising amount of strength for an eight-year-old kid. His bandaged fingers desperately gathered as much of her shirt in his tiny fists as possible. He cried hard. Hikari had never witnessed the boy so openly emotional before. He was usually the quiet and calm type. Afraid that he would choke on his own spit, Hikari murmured soft reassurances in his ears. Baby, I’m here, I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you, it’s alright now.   
However, Kei wasn’t looking at her, he stared at the bed lamp to take in as much light as he could despite glassy eyes. He could move his arms and legs now. Although his fingers hurt so badly, he didn’t want to let his mom go. He had called for her so many times. He held onto his mom for dear life. Her voice soothed him so gently. Her scent filled his lungs instead of mold stench and hot air. What happened? When did he get out? He could recall anything. It was just darkness and then...  
Suddenly, Kei’s memory of the time he was trapped in the suffocating darkness crashed on him like waves. There was no one. He couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t see anything. He was trapped alone. Everything faded into nothing.  
Hikari sensed something wrong when Kei’s breath became rapid to the point of hyperventilation. He suddenly went rigid, his small figure curling into itself, arms detached from her shirt. Then much to her horror, Kei started shaking and whimpering. He brought his hands to his neck and started scratching at the wounds.  
The turn of events shocked Hikari for a brief moment. She quickly hit the nurse button for some help then held Kei’s arms in hers, preventing him from hurting himself. She called for him loudly to break him out of it but he didn’t react at all. He couldn’t register anyone or anything.   
Next to them, Akiteru stirred awake at the commotion and he soon realized something was wrong, too. A nurse and a doctor walked in and immediately reacted to the situation.   
It took Kei some grounding exercises, which Hikari took note of, to calm down. The doctor gave Kei a once-over and fixed up the IV line Kei pulled, by which Kei looked deeply troubled. Kei only nodded and shook his head when he was asked questions for the whole time. Then the nurse cleaned his new wounds on the neck then had a little talk with the Tsukishimas. They were informed that Kei was alright physically but mentally, he just got what was called a panic attack. It would be best if Kei visited a psychologist to help to cope.   
They all curled up on the hospital bed with Kei in the middle. Akiteru on the left and Hikari on the right. Hikari had asked Kei if he wanted to let the light on and he nodded. She looked deep into Kei’s eyes and asked, “Kei, how are you feeling?”  
The boy frowned, not looking at her and buried his face into her chest. He shook his head.  
“Do you not want to talk about it now?” Kei shook again.  
“Are you tired, hon?” He nodded.  
“Okay, let’s get some rest, huh?” She ran her fingers through his hair. “You have had a rough day.”   
Kei nodded again. Behind him, Akiteru was already knocked out.  
It was typical for Kei to be a child of few words but complete silence was unusual of him. Hikari hoped that he was just too exhausted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As much as I tried to deflect giving Kei's mother an actual name, she still inevitably has one anyway because I want to change POV around until Kei is good to narrate again. I studied some Japanese name meanings and though that Hikari would suit Tsukishima's mom best. Have to keep the light theme going lol.  
> There were a lot of Tsukishimas in this chapter so I decided to call them all by their first name. It's a massive joy because any name is shorter than Tsukishima lol
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Please leave some comments If you feel like in the chapter. I have the feeling I didn't perform as well as I could have, but frankly, I don't know where to fix because motherhood is not my strong suit when it comes to writing.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and thoughts are appreciated!


End file.
